Falling Hurts
by Lauraz
Summary: Eddi's feeling hurt and betrayed by Luc, so when he turns up out of the blue, what is his explanation? Can Eddi let go of her anger and forgive him, or is it too late?
1. Chapter 1

Falling Hurts

**This is my first Leddi fic, I really like their dynamic. Plus I've read some brilliant stories for them, so it inspired me to have a go.**

Eddi poured her second glass of wine, she was fighting the overwhelming urge to get hammered, to drink away all the bitterness and the anger that was threatening to consume her. She was tired of being the main topic of conversation on AAU. People it seemed to enjoy being nosy, if poking your nose into other people's business was an Olympic sport then Chrissie Williams would have been a shoe in for a gold medal at London 2012. As much as Eddi was loathed to admit it, the constant questions about the whereabouts of a certain doctor were doing her head in.

"How the hell should I know!" She snapped, after being asked for what felt like the thousandth time. "I don't care where he is either."

She had been good at acting at school, and she was putting those skills to good use now. Normally one of Eddi's traditional scowls and a face as black as thunder would be enough to stop anymore probing going too far. She leant back on the sofa, having finished her second glass of red wine. Hadn't she tried this before? Seeking solace in a wine glass, it had worked before, but Eddi knew it wouldn't work this time.

She had always known there was something about Luc Hemingway, his way with words, tone of voice, his ability to wind her up with the way he talked in riddles. He was the most socially inept person she'd ever met. And yet there was a spark between them; the reason? She didn't have a clue. At first there was no sign of anything, other than confusion bordering on dislike. Eddi had fought hard not to fall for Luc's weird charms. But in the end Eddi's heart had taken over. It was hard to explain, it was like she was a fish on the end of a line that was slowly being reeled in. She had never felt like that about any man before. Eddi knew loving Luc was not going to be easy, that was part of the attraction part of the infuriating lure of him. But as soon things got serious he had bolted like a frightened horse. Leaving her in the lurch with no explanation.

"I've been such a bloody idiot!" Eddi told herself. She decided against getting drunk, what use is a hangover anyway? She got up and went to bed. The washing up would wait until the morning.

It felt like she had only been asleep for a few hours, when she was abruptly awoken by someone knocking loudly at her door. She rolled over and groaned. It was 5 in the morning. Whoever it was better have a damn good excuse for waking her up so early. She dragged herself out of bed, and pulled on a dressing gown. The knocking became more persistent.

"Alright, alright I'm coming." Eddi opened the door, ready to give the early morning visitor a piece of her mind.

"Hello Eddi," Luc Hemingway said simply. Before she had time to register what she was doing, she lifted her hand and slapped him hard across the face.

**Please review. Thanks.**


	2. Chapter 2

Falling Hurts

**Holby City belongs to the BBC.**

**I would really like to thank everyone for such a positive response to my first chapter. I really was amazed by such great feed back. Hopefully you will enjoy chapter 2.**

Chapter 2

The force of the slap caused Luc's head to jerk to one side. His hand went up protectively on his right cheek. The expression on Eddi's face told him everything he already knew. She was fuming.

"I suppose I deserved that." His tone was flat. His face was not giving anything away.

"You swine, you good for nothing ba- " Luc put his hand up before she could finish the insult.

"Please Eddi, I know you're angry with me and you have a right to be, but I had my reasons for leaving." Eddi had turned away she didn't even want to look at his face. "Eddi, please let me try to explain."

"Why? What reason could there possibly be for behaving like such a jerk? You didn't even bother to contact me, no phone calls, no emails, not even one lousy text! It's not that hard is it Luc?" Eddi finally looked up. She had never felt so furious. All she wanted to do was to slam the door on him.

"I can only apologise, it was a last minute thing," he shrugged sadly. "I had to go, I had no other choice." His whole demeanour was listless, but Eddi wasn't in the mood to forgive him.

"I don't want to hear your pathetic meaningless apologies, shall I tell you what I think Luc?" Eddi was shouting at him now, but she didn't care, if the neighbours complained she'd have to deal with it later. "I think you are a gutless emotionless selfish man, who can't bring himself to feel anything towards anyone, because you can't stand letting your guard drop for one second! A man who can't stomach the thought of putting any roots down, so you have to live like some nomad in a camper van."Luc stood with his hands hanging loosely by his sides staring impassively at Eddi. The lack of any outward emotion or even a slight reaction to what she had just said, made Eddi want to scream in frustration. Finally she gave up. "You know what? Get lost." Before he could protest she slammed the door shut.

"I'm going nowhere, you are going to hear me out." He was calm but there was also an element of defiance in his voice.

"Well I'm not interested Luc, so don't waste anymore of my time!" She decided to do the washing up which she had left from last night. She filled the sink with warm water and washing up liquid and put things into soak. She was glad it was her day off today, the last think she felt like was going into work. Especially having been woken up by Luc at such an early hour.

Luc meanwhile was sitting outside Eddi's door, his legs were curled up in front of him, his hands clasped around his knees, his eyes were closed. He looked deep in thought. "Did you read the book I gave you?" He hoped this question would lead somewhere. On the other side of the door Eddi ignored his question and carried on soaking the remaining dirty dishes.

"Words, such small things that can mean so much." Luc mused before adding, "but on the flip side they can cause untold damage." Eddi rolled her eyes. He was doing it again talking rubbish, why couldn't he just speak in plain English? And more to the point why couldn't he leave her alone?

"Life is a journey we've all got to take. Some people have easier paths than others, at least that's what we all think."

"Go away Luc," Eddi said, her tone was razor sharp.

"I'm afraid I can't do that Eddi," came the reply from behind the door.

"Oh for crying out loud," she huffed in annoyance. If Eddi didn't know any better she'd have said that he was enjoying this little exchange between them. Eddi opened the door even though she hated doing it. She had blinked first. He climbed to his feet. The look in his eyes was one of relief, the look in hers was icy cold. Eddi stepped aside as he walked in. She shut the door, sliently cursing herself for being so weak.

"Start talking," she said bluntly, her arms folded across her chest. Luc cleared his throat.

"I never wanted to leave, not then. Otherwise I would never have accepted Hanssen's job offer. But there are things about me you don't know."

"Believe me I think I know that much already." Eddi raised her eyebrows cynically. "You are a coward, you said before you left - what's life if you don't take risks?" Eddi bit her lip. "It just goes to show that you didn't think I was worth it."

"Don't be absurd Eddi, I meant every single word I said on the roof. For once I wasn't over thinking matters, Luc put his hand on Eddi's arm, but she shook it off. "Before I tell you why I had to leave..." He stopped, looked Eddi square in the eye and said, I didn't want to hurt you, I love you."

"Sure you do Luc", she was being sarcastic but her voice wavered a little.

"I do. Trust me." Luc inhaled deeply. "I was married for eight years, we ended up getting a divorce. The reason I left in such a hurry was because I received a phone call to say that my ex wife was dying." Luc paused as he watched Eddi's face slowly drain of colour her mouth was open but she was unable to speak. I have a daughter with Sandra, Olivia she's seven. That's why I had to go, I had no choice..."

**I hope I managed to get Luc's rather odd character right. I have read this through but apologies for any typing errors hopefully there aren't any.**

**Please let me know what you think. Thank you.**


	3. Chapter 3 Falling Hurts

**Here's chapter three, sorry for the very long wait, but I hope you enjoy it.**

Falling Hurts

Chapter 3

"That's why I had to leave so quickly. Olivia she needed me because her Mum had just died and I needed to be there at short notice."

"I don't know what to say, why didn't you tell me? You owe me that much."

"It's not the kind of thing you can bring up in every day conversation, especially as it's a time of my life that I don't look back on with any relish."

"Whys that Luc? I'm guessing you couldn't handle your responsibilities so you left without a trace." Eddi knows she sounds harsh, but Luc needs to hear the truth.

"Don't be so judgemental Eddi." There's a slight hint of irritation creeping into his voice."You have no idea how hard the last three months have been." Eddi pulls a face, she is in no mood for a sob story.

"What am I supposed to feel sorry for you now?"

"I never said that, did I? The last few months have put things into perspective for me."

"How nice for you Luc". Eddi wants to grab him by the shoulders and shake him. She wants him to understand what he's done to her, and what he's doing to her now. But she can't articulate how she's feeling because she's so livid, so raw.

"We were married for eight years, it seemed like a good idea at the time, we'd known each other for four years before marriage. But I soon realised we weren't compatable together, I needed space to work I was a young doctor desperate to prove myself to my boss, she used to say that I was never attentive enough and soon we'd start arguing about stupid things that didn't even matter. Sandra was convinced I didn't love her enough. I thought when Sandra became pregnant with Olivia things would change, and for awhile they did but it didn't last. I wasn't ready for fatherhood, I wasn't what you call a natural at it."

"Sounds like a bunch of excuses to me, you're very good at excuses it must be the lifetime of practice you've had." Eddi was avoiding making eye contact with Luc during the conversation but even she couldn't disguise the cynicism that was in her tone of voice. "I'm only surprised you were around long enough to become a father let alone get married."

"I'm not proud of myself, I don't claim to be father of the year, my own father left my family when I was four. No warning nothing just got up walked out and left." Luc looked wistfully out of the window, suddenly he saw himself as a four-year-old in 1974 asking his mother when was Daddy coming home? It was a question that was never answered.

"Like father like son then." Eddi stated coldly, I suppose it's your Dad's fault that you can't stick around for any length of time, it obviously runs in the genes."

I know my own faults and I'm not going to pass the blame to anyone."

"That's big of you."

Luc sighed wearily he had fully expected Eddi to behave like this, she was very good at pretending she didn't give a damn when really nothing could have been further from the truth.

"I'm not the easiest person to live with, and we were a strange mix in many ways, Sandra was all about friends and family and being sociable. That just wasn't me." Eddi smiled thinly at this comment.

"I am a loner, my best form of company is myself, as selfish as it may sound."

"That's you all over, you're self obsessed insensitive and cold." Eddi was trying to stay calm and collected but her fury was seeping out of every syllable.

"I am not cold, distant maybe, but not cold." Luc paused, as if he didn't know what to say next.

"What happened to Sandra?" Eddi turned to face him again.

"She had breast cancer, I was there when she died." Luc looked visibly upset. "It was the last thing I could do." He ran his hand over the back of his head and sighed.

"I'm sorry, Luc." A pang of guilt hit Eddi, not so much for him, but for his little girl, who had lost her Mum.

"Where is Olivia now?" Eddi was now sitting down for the first time since Luc had arrived.

"She is staying with Sandra's parents in Manchester for the time being. My nomadic living style is hardly suitable for a child."

Do you have much contact with her?" Eddi realises that Luc is opening up properly and she appreciates it.

"No, perhaps once or twice a year that's it. Sandra and I never really spoke after the divorce. It ended up getting very bitter between us – she accused me of not trying hard enough in the marriage, of always putting work first. The in – laws never took to me. They just saw their daughter getting stressed upset and angry, in the end we couldn't speak to each other without it descending into world war III."

"I wish you had been honest with me from the start, rather then making me think you didn't care about us, it ripped me apart." Eddi had tears in her eyes which she didn't bother wiping away.

"I'm not good with words, I would describe myself as emotionally dyslexic at times." Eddi can't help smiling.

"Yeah I'd say that is a pretty good description of you, I will need time to get my head around this."

"I thought so, and I understand totally."

"The think is Luc, I don't want anymore secrets, which is why I have to tell you..." Eddi takes a deep breath. "I've been seeing someone else." She almost blurted it out to get it over with quickly.

"You certainly don't waste time." He doesn't sound angry or even surprised. His expression is blank.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Forget it, Eddi, I've got to go." He gets up and walks towards the door.

"Luc wait, please you don't understand."

"I'll see you at work tomorrow." He leaves before Eddi has the chance to say anything else. She slams the door leaning against it. She thought she was getting somewhere only to be back to square one.

**I made a slight alteration to chapter 2. Anyway I have an idea where I'm going to take this.**

**I'd really appreciate any feedback, so please review. Thank you.**


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"So, doc what's wrong with me?" George Henry sounded remarkably relaxed he already had an idea what was wrong with him, he just wanted confirmation of it. Luc Hemingway had run the ECG and as he suspected the results showed that Mr Henry had suffered a heart attack.

"The results are conclusive you've had a second heart attack." George Henry looked disappointed but not surprised.

"Oh well, so much for me giving up the ciggys then."

"Believe me, giving up smoking is the best thing for your health Mr Henry."

"I should have packed it in sooner but it's such a hard habit to break. My family will say 'I told you so.'

"The main thing is, you're still alive and we will need to operate to widen the arteries in your heart. This is called a coronary angioplasty." Sensing Mr Henry's nerves Luc was quick to reassure him. "Don't worry, I know surgery is a big step to take, but we really have no other option in your case."

"I know, it's just the thought of someone cutting me open scares me stiff, but you look like the kind of bloke I can trust."

"I'll get a Nurse to prep you for theatre." He walks over to he nurses station, where Eddi and Max seem to be sharing a private joke. Neither Luc or Eddi had spoken properly to each other since Luc had rather abruptly walked out of Eddi's flat.

"Nurse McKee, George Henry needs to be prepped for theatre. Can you do it now please?"

"Yeah, just give me a second." Eddi types something on the computer. Max Schneider looks smugly amused with himself. "I was wondering if you really did exist? Luc Hemingway isn't it?" Max's mouth formed into a smirk. He offered his hand to Luc, who grudgingly shook it. "Yes it is. Mr Spence has told me about you."

"All good things I hope?" Luc didn't reply, but smiled as politely as he could. Both Michael and Sacha voiced their opinions on Mr Schneider to Luc, giving him the distinct impression the 'charm and smiles' were hiding deep flaws in this man. Now they weren't the only ones with strong reservations.

I'll go and prep Mr Henry." Eddi hastily gathered up some untidy papers which she hadn't filed and knocked over the remains of her coffee. "Damn, this is all I need!" She dabbed at her uniform frantically with tissues making the stain even worse.

"Hey, don't worry Eddi calm down," crooned Max in that lazy nonchalant way of his. Luc thought Eddi looked ill, her face was pale and her eyes looked small with dark circles underneath them.

"You better get changed, I'll ask Sister Williams to prep George Henry."

"Thank you," she gave him a cursory glance. Before rushing off for a change of clothes. Luc walked off without saying a word. Max Schneider was not his kind of person, and he doubted that he was what Eddi needed right now, but then it wasn't up to him it was Eddi's judgement to make. But he was going to talk to Sacha again and find out more about Schneider before making anymore conclusions. Apparently Eddi had been making mistakes at work, which according to Sacha coincided with the relationship that had started between them.

Meanwhile Eddi was now changed into a clean uniform, she cringed as saw her shabby reflection in the mirror. The door opened making her jump.

"You look much better". Max was now standing behind Eddi his hands on her shoulders.

"Well I feel bloody awful, I look like I've been dragged through a hedge backwards," she moaned trying to finger comb her unkempt hair.

"Rubbish, you look fine to me." She smiled at him, he knew just what to say to make her feel good, she felt wanted at last.

"Have you taken anything this morning? If not I've got exactly what you need." Max took the packet of Comoxidan out of his trouser pocket, and raised his eyebrows questioningly at her.

"No, I can't Max, I don't want to rely on them too much."

"Relax Eddi, it's only a couple, it'll help with the stress what harm can it do?"

"I suppose you're right." he placed them in the palm of her hand.

"Trust me Eddi", before adding with a broad grin, "I'm a doctor."

**Sorry I haven't updated as reguarly as I would like. But hopefully the next chapter will follow fairly soon.**

**As always your feedback is appreciated. Thank you.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Here's chapter 5 I hope you enjoy it, Sorry for the delay again.**

Chapter 5

Falling Hurts

Luc was sitting in his camper van opposite Sacha. They were both drinking tea from two large mugs. "I'm telling you Luc, he's trouble you know me I'm not normally so quick to judge." It was true Sacha Levy was always willing to give people the benefit of the doubt before casting aspertions. "Look, Eddi would never admit it but she's not coping. But don't tell her that or she'll shoot me!" Luc grins.

"You know her so well." Luc turned and stared out of the window. The rain was making soft pattering noises on the roof.

"Not like you do, she's missed you believe me." Luc shakes his head vehemently.

"Eddi can look after herself, she doesn't want or indeed need my help, I'm sure Dr Schneider will be her first port of call if required."

"You're happy with that are you?" Sacha feels like banging his head on the table.

"Look I don't see what difference it makes if I'm 'happy' about this or not, it is none of my business anyway."

"Luc, if you don't do something about this it's going to spiral out of control, I'm telling you as a colleague and a friend there's something not quite right about Max. He's got some kind of hold on her, you came back for a reason, don't turn your back on this." Luc doesn't say a word but he looks pensive.

"If Eddi wants my help she knows were I am." Sensing the conversation was going stale Sacha knew better then to try and force the issue any further. Luc Hemingway was such an introverted person, he rarely offered any insight into his private life, which is quite something when working at Holby. Yet he liked Luc a lot, in Sacha's opinion he was a thoroughly decent bloke. Sacha always gravitated to people that most would keep rather keep at arms length. His friendship with Jac was proof of this.

"So are you planning to stick around?"

"That's my intention, I just need to speak with Hanssen, but I've signed the contract."

"That's great news, I'm so pleased!" Sacha was beaming from ear to ear.

Thank you, Sacha, if only others shared your enthusiam." Sacha assumed he was talking about Eddi, and not anyone else.

"Eddi will come around eventually she _has _too."

"I hope you're right." Sacha gave Luc a friendly pat on the shoulder, and left the registrar to his own company. When Sacha had gone, Luc's mind flickered between Olivia, Sandra and Eddi, his brain was like a projector machine flashing images at him. Maybe it was mistake coming back here, but there was a nagging doubt inside him, he couldn't leave Eddi, for his own sanity. Luc could see Eddi was clearly not the woman he'd left behind. But he was determined to help her if he could.

_Luc was standing in front of her. He tried to sidestep her but she blocked him. He was holding a __bunch of flowers. He was wearing a black suit a white shirt and black tie._

"_This is down to you, no one else only you". They were in a churchyard surrounded by people also dressed in black._

"_It's not all my fault."_

"_Of course it isn't," the woman screamed."Because it's never your fault is it?"_

"_Please don't do this now, not here people are grieving."_

"_You still haven't said it." Luc stared down at her feet and realised she had bare feet._

"_Said what?" He muttered uncomfortably. Luc hated confrontation and public confrontation was something he couldn't stand._

"_Sorry." He looked at Sandra, her large blue eyes swimming with tears her blonde hair piled elegantly on top of her head, with loose strands hanging either side of her face._

"_I am sorry, I can't say it enough. You deserved much more then someone like me."_

"_Yes I did." She finally stepped aside, leaving him alone standing by the grave. The other mourners had disappeared. He bent down and placed the flowers down carefully. He looked at the headstone, it read : In loving memory of Edith Sally Mckee. God please no!_

Luc was breathing so hard, it felt like his lungs were about to burst. It's just a dream he thought. Don't panic, he told himself as he tried to control his pounding heart rate. He had fallen asleep sitting up. It was pitch black outside. Luc switched on the light and poured himself a glass of water, which he gulped down in one. He still couldn't forget the dream or nightmare would be a better description, Luc was a science man everything happened for a reason, he always dealt in cold hard facts not fiction. One think was certain Eddi needed help and she needed it now.

**I thrive on people's opinions so please be honest and tell me what you think. Good or bad.**

**Thank you.**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Falling Hurts

Hanssen surveyed his younger counterpart carefully. He was looking for any sign of doubt that Mr Hemingway was not committed to the hospitals cause. Sitting behind his oak wood desk he addressed the registrar once more.

"You see Mr Hemingway I need all employees at this hospital to be focused and diligent, and above all I have to demand reliability from every single person working here. The contract you have signed is binding meaning you cannot simply up and leave as you please. I understand you have told me about your circumstances, and I appreciate your openness on such matters, but you must be aware that you have a duty to your colleagues and your patients here."

"Of course I completely understand, I would not have signed the contract if I couldn't stay here, I have explained the reasons for my long-term absence, and apologise for any inconvenience my sudden departure caused.

"I hope you are aware that in future - should you need to take time off for personal reasons then you must inform me as soon as possible. It is not always easy to get the right cover at such short notice." Hanssen spoke in a way you might expect a headmaster to with a slightly wayward pupil. He would always give someone respect as long as they didn't take liberties with it.

"Thank you. I will repay your trust in me." Luc tries to ignore the fact that he has probably told a white lie has never been able to stay anywhere for long before getting itchy feet. Anyway moving on this time wasn't on Luc's agenda not if he was going to help Eddi escape the clutches of 'Mad Max.'

"I sincerely hope so. Is there anything else Mr Hemingway I really must get on?" Luc decided to cut to the chase.

"Will you be keeping Dr Schneider on at Holby?" Luc asked the question as innocently as possible.

"I'm afraid I can't discuss such matters with you, I need to talk to Dr Schneider first and foremost. What I can say is now that you've decided to remain here on a permanent basis, it has made my decision a little easier." Hanssen's pager bleeps.

"Thank you for your time Mr Hanssen." Luc walks out of Hanssen's office feeling tense but relieved - he had expected a more severe rebuke from his boss and was pleasantly surprised at Hanssen's level of understanding.

Three hours later it was beginning to get very busy on AAU as casualties from a multi-car pile up were pouring in. Luc was examining an x-ray from a patient brought in with a suspected broken collarbone.

"Well you sure picked a good day to come back to work, it's just a shame Eddi and the ever so unreliable Max couldn't be bothered to join us." Michael Spence shook his head. "Honestly why did we ever have to employ the guy?"

"Blame me for that one." Luc replied wearily.

"Don't worry I do already, you better not go and disappear on us again Hemingway." Michael couldn't help grinning as Luc feigned a looked of deep hurt before the doors swung open. A man was rushed into AAU. Sacha was giving chest compressions to the patient who was carefully moved by Michael and Luc over to the bed. "This is Alex Cotter he's 25, he was in one of the cars involved in the RTA. Possible head and neck injuries."

"Right, I'll take over for a while, lets try and get him as stable as soon we can, before we do a CT scan. Sacha will you please inform Mr Cotter's next of kin please?"

"Yes I'll do it right now. Oh by the way Chrissie has spoken to Eddi this morning, her car broke down on the way in. She's on her way in now." Luc let out a tired sigh. He was relieved that Eddi was safe and well, even though he was still worried for her personal and professional state of mind. The monitors suddenly came to life after being flat for several mintutes. "He's back, keep his oxygen levels high and maintain fluids."

###

"I'm very sorry to say this, but I'm afraid the results of your son's CT Scan indicate some head trauma."

"Brain damage you mean?" His father says quietly, while clasping tightly on to his wife's hand.

"Yes, but it's impossible to fully assess Alex until we can wake him up from his medically induced coma." Luc hates this part of his job he feels utterly useless he's a doctor and yet he can do nothing in a situation like this. "We will refer Alex to a Neurologist as soon as possible."

"Thank you." The parents answer automatically almost robot like - Luc has done all he can, so he gets up and leaves them alone.

Luc walks back to AAU where he sees Eddi looking stressed and moody. She looks up. "Has nobody ever told you that it's very rude to stare at people?"

"I wasn't aware that 'looking' at someone constituted being rude?" He answered plainly.

"Of course you weren't. Why don't you ask the question you _really_ want to know?" Eddi stares back at Luc piercing his conscience in a manner only she can do.

"I don't know what you are talking about Nurse Mckee." He can feel himself sliding into professional mode, something he is all too familiar with.

"Max has gone. You happy now?" Luc notices how thin and tired Eddi looks. "I'm sorry," he mutters. "Please meet me after work - we need to talk properly."

"There's nothing left to say."

"Not for you maybe. Just be there."

**Sorry for my long hiatus on this story I didn't mean to take so long. If you haven't forgotten what this story is about then please review. I promise the next update will be quicker. Thank you.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Here's it is as promised, hopefully you will like it. Once again thanks for your patience with me.**

**Also thanks special thanks goes to my last two reviewers after such a long time between updates I really appreciated the reviews!**

Chapter 7

Falling Hurts

Luc stood outside his camper van waiting for Eddi to show up, he had finished his shift half an hour ago but there was still no sign of her. It was September now the heat of summer had abated a little in the last few weeks. The country was feeling upbeat it seemed after such a glorious sporting summer where the nation had come together in an enormous patriotic wave of optimism. Yet Luc was feeling flat, he'd had a hellish day at work. He felt exhausted. He scanned the car park people where coming and going but a hospital never sleeps. They were all small cogs in a vital machine that had to keep moving day and night. He glanced at his watch, maybe she wasn't going to turn up. Why would she? Eddi was still angry with him he knew that, even when Luc had told her the truth. But he couldn't walk away from her, not like the other people that flitted in and out of his life ever since childhood. Luc had never had this sense of responsibility before, to look after someone. To care about someone. He had tried to conjure some emotional depth in his life but it was always forced and never true so it ended in failure. The difference this time was simple and obvious he loved Eddi. No point hiding it anymore, he had admitted it to her. Luc turned to go inside.

He made a pasta salad for himself anything to stop thinking. He switched on the TV and flicked through the channels before finally settling on a programme about brown bears in Canada. He finished his salad. Took a swig of orange juice. Luc turned down the volume and just left the pictures on the screen. There was a soft tap on the door. He rose slowly to answer it – was it Eddi? Please let it be you. He opened the door there's was a moment of slight awkward tension between them. Luc cleared his throat somewhat nervously.

"I didn't think you were going to come?" He said moving aside to allow her in.

"Neither did I, being stuck in a cramped space with you doesn't exactly fill me with excitement right now but then neither does my social life." He was going to have to let any caustic remarks she made slide for tonight.

"Tea or coffee?" Luc had decided he wasn't going to be drawn into another verbal tennis match as it was the last thing either of them needed.

"Tea, please." She replied curtly. Eddi was sitting at the table pulling bits of fluff of her jumper. Trying to ignore the urge to get up and run out of here as fast as she could. Luc was making the tea. Eddi could tell by his facial expression that he was as uncomfortable as she was.

"I had it all planned out what I was going to say to you, how I was going to say it. I couldn't sleep last night for thinking about it. Then you realise you can't plan everything you just have to run with it." Luc sets the mugs down on the table. Running away is something I'm an expert at, my default setting." Luc stops and smiles as Eddi nods in agreement.

"You're not the only one I've done it too, Liam my Mum. To name a few."

"You were young, and it got too much – where as I bail out without any justification whatsoever. You were right when you called me a coward. I know even when I want to get close to someone I freeze sometimes. My mother she's the same, especially when my father up and left she didn't trust anyone after that. He was a womaniser a charmer she told me until he got drunk and started throwing his weight around. I remember my first memory was seeing her standing hunched over the kitchen sink." He leaned forward and stopped. Eddi reached and held his hand gently.

"You don't have to explain Luc."

"I do, it's just I've never spoken about this before. I walked over and there was blood everywhere. She turned to look at me holding a tissue to her nose. She had a black eye. She bent down and gave me a hug, shaking like a leaf. I knew something was wrong but she told me everything would be OK." Luc takes a long drink of tea.

"Why are you telling me this now?" Eddi knows by the far away look in his eyes these recollections are very painful for him.

"Because this is partly what I keep trying escape from. My mother was a very proud and traditional woman she wanted to keep us together she thought a break up would leave her homeless, she had a cleaning job but it paid a pittance. When my father was sober enough he was a car mechanic." As I got older my mother and I spoke less and less. I used to try and ask questions but it was like talking to a brick wall." They both smiled ironically across the table at each other. Luc stood up and drew the curtains. "I know from what little she has said to me that I resemble my father a great deal, so every time she looked at me all she saw was him we never got past that."

"Hence your strong dislike of alcohol. I get it. My mother used to drink as well so I understand where you're coming from." I didn't think I'd end up like her." Eddi feels her resolve to remain detached and unemotional melt away as she looks at Luc. She doesn't want to scream at him anymore, She feels the tears come down her face. "I'm a mess Luc and it's not you're fault it's not anyone's fault but mine." He cups his hands around her face.

"Let me help you please Eddi, I realise what I did was wrong – but you are the sole reason why I came back to Holby. For all the mistakes I've made leaving you was the worst." He's being searingly honest for once. I want to stop running from the ghosts of my past because I need you in my life. I love you so much." He gets up to hug her and can feel her body tremble as she leans against him.

"I love you too." Eddi can only whisper, her mind and her body tired out by the stresses and strains of the recent months. She still doesn't know what the future with Luc will be – but Eddi is glad that he feels comfortable sharing some of his life with her. For the first time in a long time she feels at ease and contented to be held in the arms of a person who needs her as much as she needs him.

**This may seem like an ending but there's more to come.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Once again I apologise for the long delay. This chapter has been more challenging than I expected, but I hope you like it.**

Chapter 8

Falling Hurts

It had been two months since Luc and Eddi had reunited after their heart to heart. They finally felt comfortable and at ease together. Eddi had also come clean about her use of the Comoxidan pills and how the last time she had seen Max he had given them to her and she had thrown them away. She realised it was Max's way of controlling her, but Eddi was never going to be manipulated like that by anyone again. Now though there was about to be a bigger test for Luc and Eddi's fledgling relationship. Luc had made a phone call to Sandra's parents to see if it was possible to come and see his daughter, to his surprise they said yes. But he wasn't to push things between himself and Olivia, because she was still very upset.

"If you don't want to come I will fully understand." Luc was apprehensive about going to Manchester to see Olivia, after all he had not seen her since Sandra's funeral. An emotionally torturous occasion leaving him racked with guilt and untold internal suffering. In some ways he had no right to be there among the people that loved her the most. Luc went as a final mark of respect. It was the last chance to say sorry. He had apologised to Sandra in the hospice where she spent her last days. "_Anyone can say their sorry. Prove me wrong and do what is right for our daughter. Be the father she deserves." _That was the last thing she said to him.

"I want to come with you and support you. That's what couples do and that's what we are, albeit a slightly dysfunctional one." She added with a wry smile.

"I think I object to being labelled dysfunctional how about we just say quirky?" Luc put the the over night bags into the camper van, wondering if this trip to Manchester was really a good idea or whether it was going to be an impending disaster? He wished of course for the former.

"Yeah, we'll go with that then." Eddi planted a soft kiss on Luc's lips. His eyes held her gaze for a few seconds longer than he intended. She looked healthy and happy, a far cry from the pale skinny and sickly woman from two months ago. Looking at her now it was like looking at two completely different people. Luc was acutely aware Eddi was still extremely vulnerable and fragile, even though she was trying to pretend everything was fine and dandy.

"Are we ready?" Eddi asked ignoring her own nagging self doubt.

"Is anybody really ready for anything?" He replied in his typical way. Luc knows today will be difficult for everyone involved.

* * *

Luc and Eddi were sitting together on the sofa in Malcolm and Linda's house, having arrived safely after the long drive. The greetings had been sombre and short which was to be expected given the circumstances. Luc noticed Olivia was nowhere to be seen.

"Olivia's in her room, I'll go and call her down." Malcolm got up from his armchair.

"No, don't Malcolm," Linda interrupted, She'll be down in her own time."

"But she's been up there for hours already and staying cooped up by herself hasn't helped so far."

"Yes but forcing her to come down will only may make things worse, she said she'd come when she is ready."

Malcolm sits back down reluctantly, he wants to remind Linda that none of this was their idea in the first place but he's loathed if he's going to cause a scene in front of guests. He looks at his former son in law and wonders why is Luc even here? The man showed no interest in his granddaughter for years. If it was up to Malcolm and Linda, Olivia would have nothing whatsoever to do with Luc. But it wasn't up to him. This was Sandra's last wish and he and Linda to respect her choice.

"So Eddi, what do you do for a living? Are you a doctor?" Malcolm asked.

"No, I'm a nurse on the same ward as Luc." She'd only been there for twenty minutes but it felt more like twenty hours.

"Have you been together long?" Linda's question was directed at Luc.

"Eighteen months or so. We've known each other for a while longer." He added as an after thought, Luc felt as though he was in the middle of a tough job interview.

"Well, all I can say is I hope you look after Eddi better then you did our Sandra." Eddi refrains from replying to this comment - even though she wants to defend Luc.

"Linda, don't do this love – not now." Malcolm grabbed his wife's hand. Linda turned to her husband, he could tell she was on the verge of yet more tears.

"Why not?, I'm only being honest, look at him he can barely look us in the face. Eddi wanted to jump in and say something. "What exactly do you see in him? Because he's nothing but a robot in human skin. Incapable of anything remotely resembling emotional warmth!"

Luc looked at his former mother in law straight in the eye. "I know you're both grieving and angry I'm not even going to say I understand what you both must be feeling, because to suggest otherwise would be insulting."

"Your own daughter barely knows who you are. A stranger for all but a couple of weeks of the year. Now you've come here out of guilt and nothing more!" Linda's voice was raised and shaking.

"I am not going to deny guilt. I've been an absent father when I should have stepped up to the plate - but to my shame I have failed to be a father when I swore on the day Olivia was born that the one thing I would never do, whatever happened between Sandra and myself that I would not turn my back on her. She should have been my main priority." Luc is grateful for Eddi's comforting touch as she places her hand on his shoulder.

"The truth is I thought she was better of without me, and her mother used to say the same." Luc was struggling to keep himself together so he paused to try and regain some composure. There was silence in the room as footsteps came down the stairs and made shuffling noises on the carpet through the hallway. Olivia said nothing as she stood in the doorway. Luc felt his skin prickle with nerves he had only caught glimpses of her at the funeral. Now they were standing face to face. Any coherent thoughts he had managed to hold on to until that moment had evaporated into nothing. The dam was beginning to break as tears formed in his already moist eyes...

**Trying to imagine how Luc will adapt to this situation has been difficult. I just hope I've managed to do it. Your opinions are very welcome.**


End file.
